Crimes against Graphic Design Law
Crimes are broken down into Serious crimes and Minor Breaches of the Law.
Serious Crimes
| Crime | Likely Punishment |
| Text which overlaps images and whitespace | 5 years in graphic design prison, out in three years with good behaviour. |
| Use of 3 or more fonts in a publication | 10 Years in Graphic design prison, parole in 7. A lifetime on license in case of a second offence. |
| Text in which words wrap between two lines creating "orphans" | 15 Years in prison - a simple easily avoided crime for which their is no excuse. Turn off auto hyphenate in serif. |
| Heavy or repeated use of Clipart or Wordart | 20 Years in prison - just because it is easy it doesn't mean its good. |
| Use of the font Comic Sans in publication for the over 16'sand/or web related publishing. | 10 years in Prison. Most peple over 16 can read, we don't need help from the font and it screams "I am an amateur". |
| Font sizes over 16 pt for body text for the optically challenged. | 5 years in prison. You can't read this stuff |
| using a low quality image and stretching it to a size where it pixellates | 10-15 years depending on severity of offence. Either use a higher quality image or use it smaller. |
| Use of the font Chiller in a puplication for adults | 20 years to life at the judges discretition. Gothic horror style belongs on horror film posters and nowhere else. |
Minor Breaches of the law
| Breach | Likely Punishment |
| Not leaving enough room round an image so that it looks cramped | Fixed penalty fine or 20 hours community service |
| The Marilyn Manson school of design everything is black with shades of black on top unless blood is dripping from it. Might be OK for Goth concert posters not so suitable for a formal agenda. | You will be sent out into the community to talk to old people and made to smile. You might like this stuff, your friends might like it but who is it for. |
| Distorting the aspect ratio of images so they look fat or thin. | If accidental hold down shift when you are sizing them. If deliberate no excuse, so 60 hours community service. |
| Pink text on anything really, that isn't for a 3-10 year old girl | Its not Kitsch its not charming it just looks tacky.
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